Ese koko hari ibibazo biterwa no kurongora umugore utaraciye imyeyo ? Dore uburyo bworoshye bikorwamo

Nk’uko tubikesha igitabo Imihango n’Imiziririzo cyanditswe na Musenyeri Aloys Bigirumwami, ndetse n’andi makuru twagiye tubona mu bushakashatsi bitandukanye, gukuna ni umwe mu mihango ihabwa agaciro gakomeye mu muco nyarwanda ndetse no bihugu bimwe bya Afurika. Mu Kinyarwanda kijimije bikaba byitwa “guca imyeyo” dore ko iyo ukurikiranye inkomoko yabyo usanga abakobwa bamaze kuba abangavu bakoraga iki gikorwa bagiye gushakisha imyeyo yo gukubura. Usibye kuba abakobwa barakunaga ngo bazafashe abagabo babo nabo ubwabo kwizihirwa mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina gakondo nyarwanda, ngo bwari n’uburyo bwo kwigwizaho umwambaro w’igitsina mu rwego rwo kurinda umwanda kuba wakwinjira mu igituba dore ko nta myenda y’imbere yabagaho.

Wakwibaza uti ese gukuna ni iki ? Byakorwaga na nde kandi ryari ?

Gukuna ni umuhango wakorwaga n’abana b’abakobwa bageze mu gihe cy’ubwangavu.

Iki gikorwa cyo gukuna cyakorwaga mu buryo bwo kurushanwa aho abakobwa babaga bajyanye guca imyeyo bageraga ahihereye hatagera izuba nko munsi y’umukingo hameze nk’ubuvumo maze bagakuriramo uduhu twabo icyarimwe bakadusasa bakatwicarira, udashaka kwicarira uruhu yambara agashaka amababi manini y’ibiti akaba ariyo yicarira maze ubwo bagafata ibikunisho byabo bagatangira gukurura ibice by’urwinjiriro rw’igitsina (imishino). Ibyo bikunisho byabaga bigizwe n’intobo yokeje basigaga aho bakuruye kugira ngo horohe kandi binabafashe kugwiza vuba. Kubera ukuntu iryana, byabasabaga gushinyiriza no kwihangana mu gihe bakora iki gikorwa. Hari kandi n’utubabi tw’ibindi byatsi bifashishaga babaga baranitse, bakadusya noneho bagakoresha ifu yatwo bavagangaga n’amavuta y’inka maze bikabafasha kwikuna neza. Tumwe muri utwo twatsi harimo misunditatu, ngwizijana, akatsi bita gutwi kumwe, agati bita umukonora (utubabi twako), inyabarasanya n’ibindi byatsi.

Uko bakuna

Wicaza ikibuno hasi, ugashinga ibirenge ku buryo amavi ashobora kugera ku ntugu zombi, ukanyuza amaboko munsi y’ibibero ufite rwa ruvange rw’ibyo ukunisha cyangwa se amavuta y’inka akuze (iyo ari intangiriro), ukuboko kumwe gukurura umushino biteganye. Kaba kakiri gato noneho kakagenda gakura uko uhataho ukuna, ukururira rimwe ujyana hasi, mu ntangiriro birababaza ndetse rimwe na rimwe ukumva wabireka, ari nayo mpamvu abakobwa bakuniraga hamwe barenze umwe kugirango batizanye umurindi. Iyo umaze kugira umushino ufatika, ugeraho ugakuna utazura umushino mu bugari bwawo kugirango biwugire mugari, kugeza ugwije” imyugariro”.

Iyo ukurura ucunganwa no kutarenza urugingo rwa kabiri rwa musumbazose cm 6-7, hari n’abanezezwa no gukuna akarurenza ariko byitwa “gukuna ibiziriko”, ndetse ngo uwakunnye ibiziriko agira umushyukwe cyane ndetse akifuza vuba igitsina mu gihe ari mu minsi y’uburumbuke, gusa hakabaho kwifata kugirango atiyangiriza ubukobwa bwe. Uretse uku gukuna bisanzwe, ngo hari n’indi mihango yakorwaga : Guhaguruka agasimbiza ya myenda yari yicariye ngo ibyo ni ugukuza imishino ye ngo ijye ejuru. Hanyuma akunama cyane agakoza ibiganza hasi avuga amagambo bucece, agapfukama agakubita ku bibero bye akavuga andi bityo bityo.

Yarangizaga gukuna agakubita utugeri hasi akazamura agatsinsino akagakoza mu ntege ati “sindega ikicaro cy’undi ngo ahebe. Umukobwa arahanyura akanyongerera, n’umugore akahanyura akanyongerera. » Yarangiza akarundarunda neza ubwatsi yari yicariye agasubira muri ya magambo. Yarangizaga ibyo byose ngo akahabyinira akadiho yishimira ko yagwijije cyangwa se ko azagwiza vuba, ni uko ati “agati gaciye ntikabura izuba”.
Abakobwa benshi bagiye kurangiza guca imyeyo umwe yabwiraga undi ati, « amashyo n’amagana”, undi ati “amagana yuzukuruke imishino”. Maze bagataha. Bararangizaga bagahagurukira rimwe ntawe utanze undi ngo bakunde bazagwirize rimwe.

Abakobwa barangije gukuna bashoboraga no gukurakuza. Ibingibi kukaba kwari ugusiganaho ibitsina byabo (nk’abakora imibonano), babiri babiri, ngo umwe akaba ari kongerera mugenzi we. Iyo na none babaga bageze nko ku ruzi, bashoboraga gufata inyogaruzi bakayishyira ku moko y’ibere ngo irirume hanyuma rizakure vuba.

Ikitonderwa mu Gukuna

1. Mu gihe bakuna ari benshi buri wese agomba kugira ibikunisho bye. Kirazira guha undi ku bikunisho wizaniye kuko aba agutwaye imishino ndetse akagutanga no kugwiza bikakuzinga. Cyokora ariko mwashoboraga gufashanya babiri babiri umwe agakuna mugenzi we ku mpungenge zo gutinya kwibabaza !

2. Kirazira kwicara ku zuba mu gihe cyo gukuna. Iyo aho ukunira hari izuba, uritera umugongo kugira ngo ugwize vuba kandi ntirigutwarire ibintu.

3. Nta mukobwa ukuna akenyeye uruhu rwe

Kera umukobwa wabaga atarakunnye iyo yabimenyaga byamuteraga ipfunwe ndetse bikanamubabaza cyane, akumva ahari wenda ntacyo bimaze gushaka niba atarakunnye, kuko abandi akenshi bamucaga intege bamubwira ko bazamusenda, cyangwa bazamukubita intosho ishyushye mu maguru, n’indi myizerere ko nyirabukwe yashoboraga kumushyiramo ivu, n’ibindi by’urucantege. Yahoraga asuherewe rimwe uwo mutwaro akawugereka kuri nyina cyangwa bakuru be bakabaye barabimuganirije, yaba ntabo afite agahora ahangayitse kugeza n’ubwo atangira kugerageza kubikora bitagishobotse.

Uyu muco wo gukuna ntabwo wihariwe n’igihugu cy’u Rwanda gusa kuko ruwusangiye n’ibihugu byinshi byo mu karere ndetse n’ibindi by’Afurika nka Malawi, Benin, Repuburika iharanira Demokarasi ya Kongo, Mozambike, Namibiya, Afurika y’Epfo, Sudani, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Lesotho, Swaziland ndetse n’ibice bimwe by’Afurika y’epfo. By’umwihariko ariko mu gihugu cya Malawi usanga n’uburyo bita uyu muhango bifitanye isano dore ko muri Malawi bo babyita “kukuna, kuthuna cyangwa se makuna” ndetse n’uburyo bikorwa akaba ari bumwe bityo ukibaza ababa bariganye abandi bikayoberana. Gusa ho abakobwa bakaba batangira kubikora bagifite hagati y’imyaka 7-9 kandi ho abakobwa babiri bakabikorerana.

Muri Malawi kimwe n’ahandi muri Afurika uyu muhango wo gukuna ukorwa mu rwego rwo kugira ngo umugore azashimishe umugabo mu gihe cyo guhuza urugwiro ndetse bamwe mu batanze ibitekerezo mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe na Komisiyo y’Uburenganzira bwa muntu muri Malawi avuga ko ngo igare ritagira amahembere ridashobora kurirwa. Byanyibukije abagore bamwe twaganiriye bakuze bo mu Rwanda bambwira bati, “ inzu yose burya igira umuryango, nta mpamvu yo gutuma umugabo yinjira apfunda umutwe ahubwo tugomba kubakingurira amarembo bikiri kare bakinjira nta nkomyi !”.

Muri Malawi ho kudakuna bisenya ingo nyinshi ndetse nk’uko batangarije iyi komisiyo ngo iyo umugore asanzwe ataraciye imyeyo ngo aratonganywa bihagije ku buryo adashobora kugira amahoro mu rugo kugeza ubwo bamwe bahitamo gusubira iwabo cyangwa bakayoboka iy’ishyamba kujya gushaka ibyatsi byabafasha kurangiza icyo kibazo. Impamvu z’uku guhohotera abagore batakunnye ngo ni uko abagabo muri Malawi bavuga ko umugore utarakunnye ngo aba nta burere afite kandi ko atigeze agirwa inama bityo ngo akaba yamugora umugabo.

Muri Malawi Makuna nk’uko babyita ngo ifasha muri ibi bikurikira :

• Ituma yaba umugabo cyangwa umugore bategurana neza kandi bigatuma bombi bagira ubushake bwo kwiha akabyizi. Ngo abagabo muri Malawi bavuga ko ngo n’aho umugabo yaba atagira ubushake, ngo iyo abonye cyangwa akoze ku gitsina cy’umugore gikunnye ngo ahita yuzura ibizongamubiri bituma imbumbarugo ye ihita ifata umurego

• Bituma kandi umugabo aguma hamwe mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina

• Nk’uko abagabo bamwe mu Rwanda babivuga, no muri Malawi imyumvire ni imwe kuko bizera ko umugore wakunnye yorohereza umugabo we kumwinjizamo imbumbarugo atagombye guhatiriza ngo abe yamubabaza cyangwa ngo anamukomeretse.

• Gukuna ku bagore bo muri Malawi ngo bituma ibibazo bagira mu gihe cyo kubyara bigabanuka ngo kuko uwo mwanya uba wagutse neza

• Na none kandi ngo bituma igice cy’imbere cy’imyanya myibarukiro kiba kirinzwe ngo cyane cyane ku bagore babyaye. Gusa bakavuga ko ngo uburebure bw’imishino bugomba kwitonderwa ngo kuko iyo ibaye miremire bituma havamo amatembabuzi menshi ndetse bikaba byanatuma umugore agira ikibazo igihe agenda kubera gukweduka kwayo.

Mu Bugande naho abakobwa baho ntibatanzwe kuko nabo bakuna. Bo bakaba babyita “gucaikoli” cyangwa “okukya lira ensiko” ni ukuvuga kujya mu gihuru, cyangwa se bakabyita ngo “ okusi ka enfuli” bivuze nyine gukurura imishino . Muri Uganda batangira gukuna bafite hagati y’imyaka 6 kugeza 10. Mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe na Gallo ngo abagore n’abagabo babajijwe berekanye ko uyu muhango ufite akamaro ku bijyanye n’ubuzima bw’imyororokere cyane cyane imibonano mpuzabitsina ku mugore ndetse bikanerekana ko umugore wakunnye aba ashobora kubaka urugo neza.

Kuri ubu muri icyo gihugu, igitutu cy’abakobwa bari mu rungano rumwe gituma uyu muhango urushaho kugenda ukura kubera ko ababikoze batera ubwoba abatarabikora ko nibashaka bazasendwa n’abagabo babo dore ko abagore badakunnye muri icyo Uganda ngo mu duce tumwe bikorwa bafatwa nk’ikizira ku buryo n’abagabo babo iyo babimenye bashobora kubahambiriza bakabasubiza iwabo.