Ese Urukundo Nyarwo Rubaho koko ? Warubwirwa n'iki ? Dore icyo BIBILIYA ibivugaho ntibakakubeshye

Subiza ibi bibazo bikurikira:

1. Wowe wumva “urukundo” ari iki? ․․․․․

2. Wasobanura ute “urukundo rw’agahararo”? ․․․․․

3. Wumva bitandukaniye he? ․․․․․

BIRASHOBOKA ko gusubiza ibyo bibazo bitakugora. N’ubundi kandi, kubona itandukaniro riri hagati y’urukundo nyakuri n’urukundo rw’agahararo ntibigoye, iyo ubitekerejeho wihitira.

Ariko iyo uhuye n’umukobwa cyangwa umuhungu mwiza cyane, ibyo byose bishobora guhinduka. Mu buryo utari witeze, uhita wumva umukunze cyane ku buryo ibindi byose bisigara nta cyo bivuze. Uba wumva umukunda byo gupfa. Koko se urwo ni urukundo nyarwo cyangwa ni agahararo gusa? Wabibwirwa n’iki se? Kugira ngo tubone igisubizo, reka tubanze dusuzume uburyo mu myaka mike ishize ushobora kuba warahinduye uko watekerezaga abo mudahuje igitsina. Urugero, ibaze ibibazo bikurikira:

● Igihe wari ufite imyaka itanu, watekerezaga iki ku bo mudahuje igitsina?

● Ese muri iki gihe ubatekerezaho iki?

Ibisubizo utanze bishobora kuba bigaragaza ko igihe wari ugeze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka, wahinduye uko wabonaga abo mudahuje igitsina. Brian, ufite imyaka 12, yaravuze ati “natangiye kubona ko abakobwa ari beza kuruta uko nababonaga mbere.” Elaine, ufite imyaka 16, yibuka uburyo mu myaka mike ishize, yahinduye uko yabonaga ibintu. Agira ati “abakobwa b’incuti zanjye bose batangiye kujya baganira iby’abahungu. Nanjye natangiye kumva nkunze abahungu.”

None ko ubu utangiye kujya uterera akajisho ku bo mudahuje igitsina, wahangana ute n’ibyo byiyumvo bitoroshye ufite? Ntukigire nk’aho ibyo byiyumvo bitakubamo, kuko byatuma urushaho kubakunda. Aho kubigenza utyo, ushobora kumva ko ari uburyo bwiza ubonye, bwo gusobanukirwa uko umuntu abona undi agahita amubenguka, n’itandukaniro riri hagati y’urukundo rw’agahararo n’urukundo nyarwo. Nusobanukirwa ubwo buryo butatu abantu bagaragazamo urukundo, bizakurinda ibintu bitari ngombwa byari kuzagutera agahinda, kandi nyuma y’igihe runaka, ushobora kubona umuntu mukundana by’ukuri.

KUBENGUKA → Ibyo ureba

“Jye n’incuti zanjye duhora tuganira iby’abakobwa. Tugerageza no kuganira ibindi, ariko iyo hagize umukobwa mwiza utunyura iruhande, duhita twibagirwa ibyo twavugaga!”—Alex.

“Iyo umusore afite ingendo nziza, hanyuma twahuza amaso akansekera, numva mukunze.”—Laurie.

Kuba wabona umuntu ufite uburanga ukamubenguka, nta gitangaza kirimo. Ikibazo ni uko uko agaragara atari ko buri gihe biba bihuye n’imico afite. Kubera iki? Ni ukubera ko ibyo ureba bishobora kugushuka. Bibiliya igira iti “umugore w’uburanga ariko utagira umutima ameze nk’impeta ya zahabu ku zuru ry’ingurube” (Imigani 11:22). Birumvikana ko iryo hame rireba n’abahungu.

URUKUNDO RW’AGAHARARO → Uko wiyumva

“Igihe nari mfite imyaka 12, hari umuhungu numvise nkunze cyane byo gupfa. Ariko bimaze gushira, naje gutahura impamvu namukunze. Incuti zanjye zose zakundaga abahungu kandi uwo na we yari umuhungu. Ubwo nawe urabyumva!”—Elaine.

“Nakunze abakobwa benshi, ariko incuro nyinshi nabaga nkuruwe gusa n’uko basa. Iyo namaraga kumenya imico yabo, nasangaga tudahuje nk’uko nabitekerezaga.”—Mark.

Iyo ukunda umuntu by’agahararo, wowe uba wumva umukunda nyabyo. Kandi n’ubundi, urukundo nyarwo rujyana n’ibyiyumvo. Ariko ibyo urukundo rw’agahararo n’urukundo nyarwo rushingiraho biratandukanye. Urukundo rw’agahararo ruba rushingiye gusa ku byo umuntu yashimye ku wundi bigaragara inyuma. Urwo rukundo rw’agahararo rutuma umuntu atabona aho undi afite intege nke, n’ibyiza afite rukabikabiriza. Urukundo rw’agahararo twarugereranya n’akazu kubakishije umucanga gusa. Umukobwa witwa Fiona yaravuze ati “ntiruramba. Uyu munsi ushobora kubona umuntu ukumva uramukunze. Nyuma y’ukwezi wabona undi, na we ukumva uramukunze!”

URUKUNDO NYARWO → Ibyo uzi

“Ntekereza ko iyo ukunda umuntu by’ukuri, uba ufite impamvu zituma umukunda kandi izo mpamvu zikaba zidashingiye ku bwikunde.”—David.

“Jye numva urukundo nyarwo ruza buhoro buhoro, uko igihe kigenda gihita. Mubanza kuba incuti zisanzwe. Hanyuma mwamara kumenyana neza urukundo rukagenda rwiyongera.”—Judith.

Iyo uzi neza ibyiza by’umuntu n’aho agira intege nke, ni bwo uba ushobora kumukunda urukundo nyakuri. Ntibitangaje kuba Bibiliya isobanura ko urukundo atari ikintu umuntu yiyumvamo gusa, ahubwo ko rukubiyemo n’indi mico. Bibiliya igira iti “urukundo rurihangana kandi rukagira neza. . . . Rutwikira byose, rwizera byose, rwiringira byose, rwihanganira byose. Urukundo ntirushira” (1 Abakorinto 13:4, 7, 8). Nanone kandi, urukundo nyarwo rutuma umuntu agaragaza iyo mico ashingiye ku byo azi. Ntaba abitewe n’ubujiji cyangwa gupfa kwemera ibintu buhumyi.

Urugero rw’abantu bakundanye by’ukuri

Inkuru yo muri Bibiliya ivuga ibya Yakobo na Rasheli igaragaza neza icyo urukundo nyarwo ari cyo. Bombi bahuriye ku mugezi Rasheli yagiye kuhira intama za se. Yakobo akimubona yahise yumva amukunze. Kubera iki? Impamvu ni uko Rasheli yari “ateye neza kandi afite uburanga.”—Intangiriro 29:17.

Zirikana ko urukundo nyakuri rurenze ibi byo gukunda umuntu kubera uko asa. Uburanga bwa Rasheli si bwo bwonyine Yakobo yarebye. Kandi koko, Bibiliya ivuga ko nyuma y’igihe gito Yakobo ‘yakunze Rasheli.’—Intangiriro 29:18.

Ese ibyo byaciriye aho? Oya. Inkuru yo muri Bibiliya igaragaza ko urukundo rwabo rwarushijeho gukomera. Se wa Rasheli yatumye Yakobo ategereza imyaka irindwi mbere yo gushyingiranwa na Rasheli. Yakobo yaba yararenganyijwe cyangwa atararenganyijwe, urukundo yakundaga Rasheli rwarageragejwe. Iyo ruza kuba urukundo rw’agahararo, Yakobo ntaba yarategereje Rasheli igihe kingana gityo. Urukundo nyarwo ni rwo rwonyine ruramba. Byaje kugenda bite? Bibiliya ikomeza igira iti “Yakobo akora imyaka irindwi kugira ngo ahabwe Rasheli, ariko abona iyo myaka ari nk’iminsi mike cyane bitewe n’urukundo yamukundaga.”—Intangiriro 29:20.

Ni irihe somo wavana ku rugero rwa Yakobo na Rasheli? Urukundo nyarwo rugaragazwa n’igihe. Nanone ntiruba rushingiye gusa ku bigaragarira amaso. Birashoboka ko umuntu muzashakana yaba atari wa wundi ubona bwa mbere ukumva uhise umukunda. Urugero, hari umukobwa witwa Barbara wahuye n’umusore witwa Stephen. Barbara avuga ko akimubona atahise amukunda. Yaravuze ati “ariko maze kumumenya neza, ibintu byarahindutse. Nabonye ukuntu Stephen yita ku bantu, n’uburyo yita ku by’abandi bakeneye aho kwita ku nyungu ze. Iyo mico yari afite yanyeretse ko yari kuzambera umugabo mwiza. Natangiye kumukunda.” Amaherezo baje gushyingiranwa kandi bagira urugo rwiza.

Niba ukuze bihagije ku buryo watangira kurambagiza uwo muzabana, wabwirwa n’iki ko uwo urambagiza umukunda urukundo nyakuri? Ntuzafate umwanzuro ushingiye ku byo umutima wawe ukubwira, ahubwo uzakurikize amahame yo muri Bibiliya. Jya umenya neza uwo muntu, aho kwibanda ku buranga bwe gusa. Muzafate igihe gihagije cyo kumenyana. Zirikana ko urukundo rw’agahararo ruyoyoka mu gihe gito. Ariko urukundo nyarwo rwo uko igihe kigenda gihita rurushaho gukomera kandi ni “rwo rwunga abantu mu buryo bwuzuye.”—Abakolosayi 3:14.

Nusobanukirwa ko udakwiriye gukururwa gusa n’uko umuntu agaragara inyuma (ibyo ureba), kandi ko ukwiriye kwirinda urukundo rw’agahararo (uko wiyumva), bizaguha icyizere cy’uko ushobora kuzabona umuntu mukundana urukundo nyarwo. Ibyanditse ku mapaji atatu akurikira bizagufasha kubigeraho.

ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Niba umusore cyangwa umukobwa afite akamenyero ko gukunda umuntu nyuma y’igihe akamureka, aba asa n’aho “yitoza” kuzatana n’uwo bazashakana.

UMWANZURO

Iyo havutse ibibazo urukundo nyarwo rurakomeza, mu gihe urukundo rw’agahararo rwo ruhita ruyoyoka iyo imimerere ihindutse. Kugira ngo abantu bakundane urukundo nyarwo bisaba igihe kirekire.